


Inevitable

by astromirage



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Suoh Tamaki, Emotional Openness is Okay, Gay Ootari Kyouya, J Michael Tatum is My King, M/M, Men Crying, Minor Injuries, No Canon Involvement Whatsoever, Not Beta Read, Ootari Kyouya has Emotional Issues, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27600839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astromirage/pseuds/astromirage
Summary: Kyouya likes to believe that in another life, he and Tamaki could have been together.
Relationships: Fujioka Haruhi/Suoh Tamaki, Ootori Kyouya/Suoh Tamaki
Kudos: 36





	Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> Yo! My first ohshc fic!! Kyotama is top tier!

Kyouya looks up from his laptop to see Tamaki embracing Haruhi in a tight hug. One she didn't object to. One she in fact returned. 

Kyouya knew this was inevitable, Tamaki, despite his attraction to men, would never love him back, not like he wants. Not when Haruhi exists, taking up all his attention and love. 

Kyouya isn't the jealous type, he's lived his whole life being the lesser, he works through people's doubts and presumptions. But this inspires an acidic, repulsive type of envy. 

Kyouya moves his glasses up his nose and tries to focus on the club statistics. He finds it increasingly hard to focus as Tamaki exclaims loud declarations of love to his significant other. He closes his laptop and stands up. 

Usually he'd stay until it was dark, finish up doing everything he knew Tamaki couldn't, finances, planning, costume orders, inventory, food orders, tea orders, and website management. But today, it was all too much. He never let his inner anxieties and worries that gnawed at his brain, take over him. An Ootari son is strong and has impenetrable walls, he knows this. Being in an openly gay relationship would bring shame to the Ootari name. Kyouya feels no shame in being gay, but he can't disappoint his father by being open about it, he needs to be validated too much to risk it. 

Albeit, he can feel everything crumbling down around him. All for one stupidly beautiful, insanely kind blonde boy. He looks around at his friends, blinks once and leaves music room three, quietly and unnoticed. He calls his driver and goes home, he'll finish his work there. 

He works through his pile of homework, studies for hours and eats dinner at his desk as he finishes host club business. He looks at the time and gets ready for bed. He tries not to dream of a certain host. 

He goes to school everyday, watching the two cling to each other in private, Tamaki more so than Haruhi. Everyday, Kyouya feels something die within him, each time he sees them together, something freezes. He wishes no ill will towards Haruhi but sometimes Kyouya wishes she didn't exist so maybe, just for a second, he could have Tamaki for himself in this uncaring, cold world. 

By the time the end of their third year rolls around, Tamaki and Haruhi had been secretly dating for a long while. Kyouya got accepted into Japan's top college and was assured a position within his father's company at the time of his graduation from college. 

He'd accomplished everything he'd wanted. Well almost. 

On the day of graduation, Kyouya wakes up as normal, but he looks long and hard at himself in the mirror. The bags under his eyes are deep and strong. He feels tired, tired of hiding who he is, working so hard and still not being able to have the one thing he wanted. He just wants to be loved the way Tamaki loves Haruhi. 

Kyouya feels his brain throb with anger and pain, he walks out of his bathroom and slams the door shut, causing an echo. He feels rage build inside him and he swings his arm at his bed post. The wood splinters but doesn't break away, keeping his bed intact. He groans as his hand aches in white hot shots of pain. He shakes out his hand but cringes when that only makes it hurt worse. 

He looks down at his swollen hand and walks back into the bathroom to fetch ace bandages. He carefully wraps his hand tightly and gulps down a few pain pills. 

He leaves his estate and goes to Ouran's auditorium for the ceremony. 

Kyouya, being the head of his class, gives his speech about moving forward and the future they have in front of them and what not. He smiles pathetically at the end of his speech and sits back down. 

He just waits for the proceedings to go along and for him to get his diploma. The ceremony goes ahead without any unusual happenings, Kyouya clutches his diploma tightly and heads to music room three. 

Kyouya stops at the door when he sees that it's only Tamaki sitting on a singular couch. 

Tamaki looks over with those beautiful blue eyes and pats the cushion next to him. Kyouya blushes and feels a smile tug at his mouth. He sits down and looks at the boy. 

"Thank you Kyouya. For everything." 

"You're welcome Tamaki. I would do it again, you know." 

Tamaki smiles enthusiastically, nodding, he grabs both of his hands, squeezing them tight. Kyouya snatches his injured hand back and gently rubs it. 

"I'm sorry Kyouya! Here, let me kiss it better." Tamaki suggests, winking. 

Kyouya rolls his eyes, trying to maintain his blush, he gives Tamaki his hand and lets him place a gentle kiss on it. 

Kyouya watches it as if it's happening in slow motion. His head hangs low as he realizes, once again, he'll never get to have the one last thing he wants. 

Tamaki raises his head and sets his hand on his shoulder. "Kyouya, I just want you to know, I am so grateful for you. Without this club I wouldn't have met my true love. Thank you." 

Kyouya feels tears well in his eyes and spills over quickly. He looks back at the blonde boy and smiles a sad, wobbly smile. 

"I did it all for you. I love you Tamaki, I love you so much and I'm sorry that I do. God I'm so fucking sorry!" He stands up aggressively and his good hand grips the side of his pants. 

Kyouya turns to leave, frantically wiping the tears from years of emotional repression. 

Tamaki grabs onto the back of Kyouya's blazer and pulls him back to him. 

"Don't apologize," Tamaki pulls him into a tight hug. "I won't hate you or whatever, love is beautiful, especially a love as brave as yours. I love you Kyouya," 

Just hearing that makes Kyouya flame in a raging blush. 

"Just not how you love me. I am going to be your best friend forever and ever and always, please remember that Kyouya." 

Kyouya nods and hugs Tamaki back, crying into his blazer sloppily. 

"I will."

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT
> 
> In this Universe, to me, Kyouya is NOT OOC, I interpret him as having to cope and shield his emotions away, which I explain in this fic. Even IN canon, Kyouya doesn't have a good grasp on how to control his more explosive emotions. I also see his character as someone who has problems admitting that he has feelings, so things just slip out when he gets overwhelmed. In canon, yes he would be slightly OOC, but not here.


End file.
